Daily Da Doo...

Well I got some good news from the hubby's PO, the halfway house has agreed to accept him so now all we gotta do is wait and see what happens on the 17th and go from there. If all goes according to plan and the charges get thrown out than all we gotta do is wait on the parole board to make their decision which Im sure will be a decent one on the basis of if the charges get thrown out. Damnnn I miss him so fucking much, it's killin' me not to be with him. Well things seem to be atleast starting to iron themselves out so that makes me happy...thank heavens for that. Well Im absolutely pooped tonight...think Im not even gunna bother having a shower and just stay hot and smelly and oily lol, cause Id prolly fall asleep and drown in the tub lmfao. Well I have nothing more to say today except I took the kiddies to the splash pad and they had a great time wearing their dollar store string bikinis haha, and I took them to go to Autumns 9 month check up and she had to re start her acid reflux meds because its acting up again but she weighs in at 16.9lbs and is otherwise on the top of the charts for a healthy lil fart just like Mackenzie who is 24.2 lbs....my pudgy bunnies. Well take care y'all Im not in the mood to type alot and focus on anything like this today, Im pooped and I think my blood sugar is starting to suck ass. Well bye, for the 100th time because Im tired and keep repating myself....I love and miss you Sean and we will be back together very soon, I promise baby!
Sam xoxoxoxo

The reason I never wrote yesterday is because it was Seany and I's 2nd wedding anniversary and hes wasnt here with me because he's still 'in' and I took it real hard. I miss you so much baby and I hope we can atleast spend august 8th together for our 3rd year together...that'd be wonderful and def hopefully for your and our babies birthdays atleast. Im doing everything to make this go smoothly but I only have limited control. Heres to hoping you'll read this before our 3rd year annoversary and you'll be sitting here with me. I love you Sean with all my heart and soul! See you very soon babe!
Sam.
xoxox.

Out n About

Well I went out and about today and i took the kids to burger king and the dollar store, had fun. Some pics finally got sent out to my husband from Fred which is also awesome. My anxiety is terrible again today like usual. Chest pain, dizziness...you name it, I got it. Bullshit is all. I have to take my girls to the doc tomorrow because its Autumn's 9 molnth check up!Cant wait to see how much she weighs now! The poor thing rolled about 2.5 feet off the spare bed today, I felt like such a terrible ass...she conked her lil head, gotta keep an eye on her close for awhile but Im pretty sure that shes peachy so thats what counts. shes smily and full of energy like her usual little self so Im glad for that. Damnnear killed me when I saw shed fallen off onto the floor. I was so scared something terrible might have happened...I picked her up so fast...poor little hunny, its just so sad to see the little ones get hurt like that because there just so little and helpless and you feel so guilty. Well I am counting down the days until July 17th so I can see what happens at my hubbys court case! I really hope that it gets cleared up soon. Im sick of this no contact crap and I just miss him so much its killin' me inside. Our little girls are just going into daddy withdrawl. Hell I want that man back here more than anything...damn I love and am so IN LOVE with you Sean!! I wanna hold ya again babes! Im not going anywhere though I'll wait as long as it takes because your worth the wait....more than worth it *hugs n kisses* Cant wait till you can read all of these posts! Well I dont know much else what to say on here today...the girls got in a huge fight before bed and pulled hair and bit and like tortured eachother,lmao it was pretty funny. I dont even wanna know whats gunna happen when they BOTH are walking...Macky is but Autmn isnt yet ... man thats gunna be lotsa fun breaking up cat fights lol. Well thats really all....take care...
Sam.

My B-Day!!

Today is your hypo queen's birthday, just so yah know...whether ya care or not is completely upto you. Im having a huge hypo moment right now because My gramma took me shopping for two house plants I wanted and I brought them home,repotted them and than went to look up some care instructions for them on the net....and whilst doing so found that they're quite TOXIC...as in throat swelling,rash,respiratory problems,circulationm problems ...burning mouth and throat blindness to name a few! I cant believe these demons are in my house!! I also cant believe the nursery had them down so low where kids could get to them!!MENTAL!! Im gunna call them and give em a piece of my mind tomorrow thats for sure. The irresponsible bastards and I got two kids too....not so much as a warning on them or anything...and were soo close to the floor anyone coulda got to them...geez.Well I didnt get a hell of alot of birthday cards today for my birthday even though I get everyone else one...I got ONE card today! I got to spend it with my kids though :) which makes me super happy but my little Mackenzie has a rotten cough. Gotta get her some cough syrup tomorrow while Im out. Mom says shes got my birthday present for me tomorrow! YAY! The best present of all will be getting to touch and talk to my husband again soon though...spending my bday without him sucks...and tomorrow is our 2 year wedding anniversary.....which we will be separated for too. Im so upset about that... and damnn I hope hes atleast home for august 8th which is our 3 year anniversary of being together. I love and miss him soo much. I cant wait to hold ya again baby.

Went to the docs today and he said my throat looked fine and told me to get some cough syrup for the little one. She was so cute she stood between his knees and held his hand the whole time we were there, she loves Dr.Sohn for some reason, its adorable. He`s a good guy though so I can see why she takes a liking to him over some of her other doctors. I told him that Ive had nothing but bad reactions to the meds hes given me thus far so I denied another try to help with the flashbaks and nightmares of the rape incident. So he told me to try and go to the buddhist place downtown and meditate or learn to meditate on my own and sign up for yoga or something which I was thinking of doing anyways(the yoga thing, that is)....so I think I just might test that theory since Ive tested so many damned unsuccessful meds already. I hear my little girl coughing now over the baby monitor,so sad...poor hunny ... I hate when they hafta go through stuff like that. They`re just too tiny and innocent for that. Well not much else to say for today, just the typical heart attack, Im dying fit that I have every day and it sucks ass and now I have to put up with the fact that I,Unknowingly, bought toxic house plants,ughhh,probably gunna pitch em or give em to someone who enjoys toxic decorations. Well enough for now. Im gunna go and check my little girl...hearing her cough is so heartbreaking. Poor baby. Ciao for now,
Sam
ps: Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me,happpppy birthday dear meeee,happy birthday dear meeee ....haha peace out hypotown ;)

Im Exhausted!

I am soo exhausted. I went in to check on my girls at midnight lastnight and Autumn was awake sitting up and ready to play and have a midnight snack. She finally went back to sleep at 3:30am. Than Mackenzie slapped me in the side of the head at 5:30 'mamaaaa mamaaa'. Lol she went back to sleep at 6am and woke again at 7:30am. So practically no sleep for moi lastnight. So Im exhausted and the stress is really getting me because of that,lol, but I still love them dearly hehe, thats my lil angels. Its my birthday tomorrow, the BIG 22!!Haha! Sucks though that I gotta spend it without my husband:( But I still got my girlies to spend it with. So thats good. Wish Sean was here though. Im counting down the days until the prelim on the 17th of this month and Im hoping it all goes the way it should and that we can soon get back together and have him out of that shit hole referred to as Maplehurst!Ugh.
Well I dont really know what to type about tonight, Im exhausted and Im listening to music and tryna relax. So I'll tell ya how I feel now in hypo language ;)

Its like this...
My neck muscles are killing me and I am paranoid about that haha, my chest did some weird tightning thing a couple of times already today and I have been getting jaw and arm pain along with lightheadedness and nausea so Im freaking that Im having a heart attack as usual even though I know the odds are stacked up AGAINST that idea. As I mentioned its my birthday tomorrow and as a special present to myself I have a doctors appointment so I can go and express all of my ridiculous complaints and get yet some more peace of mind for a week atleast..(I say a week but it probably wont last much farther than the office exit door). Well thats all I got to say today ..ohh wait I forgot!i have shortness of breath too!So tonights prolly gunna be another ativan night ...my head hurts too. I know thats an aweful lot of ailments but hell what can I say in my mind thats what keeps it going I suppose. So I hope you all enjoyed my posting of the day regardless of how BoRiNg it was...*ooh the head and jaw pain and chest weirdness again* I cant wait till docs tomorrow and Im sure I'll have a post about how that went too! Take care and I'll ttyl guys.
Your hypo Queen,
Sam <3

ps: Love ya with all my heart and soul Sean, you'll be home again soon, I just know it!

Great Day and a Pissy Night...

So I had a wonderful day today, took my girls to the park and our doggy too. Had a good time....my sister and uncle and grammy came too, that makes it better. We spent over 2 hours out and it was a beautiful day out. Most of the day went relatively well. Than of course tonight happened....about an hour ago...

The sister of my husband and of his brother(who beautified my drink and took advantage of me as in RAPE) decided that she was going to try and tell me that IM the terrible person who wants to ruin lives because I called the cops on who we will call 'perv-man' to protect his identity(not that I want to but its for the better). So apparently now its unjustified to call the cops on a rapist simply because 'perv-man' denies it...(dont they all?)...Well all I can say is screw her and screw nayone who wants to try to fuck around with my life....have the nerve to say Im fucking with hers when I was a victim of a sadistic attack quite frankly...what does she know about life ruining. Than she went on rambling how she hates the way I treat her and her dad(never hurt them before,cept call the cops) and how she never liked me and how I never bring the kids up to see her....god damn they have the car whats there excuse?!And she wants to talk about decency she hasnt even so much as wrote my hubby(her beloved brother) a fucking letter in the 2 mos hes been in or joined his facebook support group. I deleted ALL of the losers now! I cant stand people of this type. I am now uberly convinced that they are all fucked.
I used to be nicey nice girl who wanted to make up with everyone and take their feelings into account even when they didn't take mine...but I think thats what makes my stress worse so from now on if ya wanna wrongly fuck with me anyone, bye bye because Im doing some serious spring clean up in my life. Byebye Sarah,Rob,Dean,Dan,Jazz,Liz,Courtney and whoever else wants to fuck with the hypo queen. Because ME AND MY FAMILY are my #1's and the friends who are actually friends. I have zero times for fakes and losers.

I'll end this with an I love you Sean Mackenzie and Autumn. I love the rest of my family and my true friends...always will. Especially you, Tracy, they dont come better than you as a friend and Valarie and Teresa. FUCK ALL THE PHONIES THOUGH!FUCK ALL THE LOSERS!FUCK ANYONE WHO WANTS TO ATTEMPT TO DETERIORATE ALL THAT I STAND FOR.

Im not perfect, Im a hypochondriac, Im guilty of many not so nice acts Im sure and I'll admit it. But Im a damn good mom,friend and I'll continue to stand strong with or without anyone by my side.You cant kick what doesnt fall down...so take your boots off! HELLO TRUTH, GOODBYE LIES.

Sam..

ps-hypo update lol, I got a sore in my mouth that freakin me out cause I think its cancer...so Im not totally sane yet...bahahahahaha, just thought Id add that for all you hypos to be sure that Im still hypo as ever and if I cant get ridda it I'll just make a joke of it and make me and you all laugh!Hypo ROCKS!

......xx again, Sam.

The Most Beautiful Flower :)

Time for some positive thoughts from your hypo queen. I have aquired what I believe to be one of if not THE most BEAUTIFUL flower I've ever laid my eyes upon..

Chrysanthemums, often called 'mums', are a genus (Chrysanthemum) of about 30 species of perennial flowering plants in the family Asteraceae, native to Asia and northeastern Europe.

Had to add a description and some pics....damn thing cost me 3 bucks for just one. DAMN, but shes beautiful!!.....that is until she shrivels up and goes brown in 5 weeks. But than Ill have another colored one to post pics that make me look scary. LOL had to add the one where I look like Im going bisurk(sp?) eating the flower haha! Hypo queen needs the humour and Im sure you guys love the laugh too. Well thats all for now folks and thanks once again for signing up for HYPO central and checking me out again. Tell all of your friends because afterall my fans keep me sane...and yes believe it or not although Im strange I am still LEGALLY sane. Lets keep it that way...bring me some more people so I can continue to amuse you all. This blog really helps me vent and makes me feel much better so Im glad I have you guys. Cant wait to see what the hubby says when he gets out and sees my funny ass blogs. It really is stress relieving. WoOt!

Talk later,

Your Hypo Senorita,

Sam ;)